kilaS balik hasil berbeRes!! ;p

kata orang, yg namanya bulan puasa itu emang bulan perenungan..
waktu lo buat memikirkan kembali segala yg udah pernah lo lakuin,,
dengan harapan lo akan bisa menyadari segala kesalahan, bertobat dan kembali menjadi fitri tentunya,,, [amien... :)]

in my life,,
the upcoming of idul fitri also means the annual cleaning-up of the house!
secara kita terima tamu di hari kedua,,
jadi ga mungkin laah bermalasan dan membiarkan rumah dalam keadaan berantakaan.. xp

since its been a tradition,, jadi selalu dan selalu,,
i would find clean up my room,, and found all of the sentimentil stuff that would absolutely remind me of a certain memories in the past,,,
either that's just a silly note from a boy in the past,
or an old-school candid picture of when i was younger,,
pokoknya selalu adaa!!
dan selalu pulaa,, i would have hard times deciding whether i should throw them away or keep them for the nostalgic values?
[biasanya,, yg terjadi adalah gw akan menyimpan mereka ditempat lain,, yg akan gw lupakan sampe gw temukan kembali setaun mendatang di beres2 lebaran berikutnyaa... xp]

this year..
what is so special is the items from high school period!

bukan cuma buku taunan atau foto dari si kisah cinta dudul jaman sma itu..
[btw, dimanaa yaa foto prom gw yg lg duduk sm si mantan pacar itu?? harus dicari nii.. haha! xp]
tapiii,, yg gw temuin adalah titipan tmen2 SMA gw coba??

jadi, alkisahnya...
setelah lulus, ada dua orang sahabat yg nitipin barang ke gw..
yg pertama ini kasus ekstrim,, dia nitipin semua diari dia dari SMP sampe kita lulus SMA ke gw.,
ini soalnya dia mau kuliah di bandung,, dia ga mau diari2 itu kebaca adenya dirumah, tapi juga ga mau pacarnya yg juga ada di bandung baca diari2 itu klo ada di kos-an dia.. jadilah,, 9 buku saudara2!! hahaa....
yg kedua,, ini lebih spesifik,,
gw juga baru inget setelah nemu si amplop coklat yg dikirim sm dia dari tmpt dia kuliah di jogja..
untung amplop itu ga kena rayap2 yg lagi jadi kasus di kamar gw.. xC
dia nitip ke gw,, semua tulisan yg pernah dikasi sm mantan cewenya,, (yg adalah sahabat gw dari sejak SD btw..) ditambah satu puisi yg dia tulis buat cewe ini,, dan satu surat buat gw yg isinya mencurahkan perasaan klo boleh gw bilang.. xp

giilaaaa...
i consider myself a rational being at this stage,,
i rarely cried on my own love & life case..
but these items of the past got me good!!! xD

semua yg ditinggalin di gw ini kayanya konyol sekarang,,,
karna mreka berdua udah sangat move-on bahkan..
yg satu udah jadi arsitek di bali, yg satu lagi berkarir di jogja..
dan dua2nya punya pacar yg tetap si kayaknya sekarang..
(yg tentu saja bukan orang2 yg mreka sebutin di buku dan surat2 yg ada di gw.. xp)

tapi kenyataan bahwa mereka pernah punya perasaan dudul itu bertaun2 yg lalu jaman kita masih pada mudaaa (baca: waktu masi belasan taun.. xp) sampe harus menitipkan semua itu di orang lain just to get-over it?? hoho...
itu yg bikin gw ngerasa barang2 ini penting,,

entah ini normal apa nggak yap,,
but i laughed and cried everytime i opened one of my diaries,,
padahal awalnya cuma pgn iseng.. hahaa...

i dont know whether they remembered sending these items to me,,
or when i can give it back to them siy..
i do know that i'm wanna keep it save though,,
menunggu instruksi selanjutnya dari pihak2 berkepentingan laah paling nggak...
hahaaaa....

selamaat lebaaRaaan!!

a 'me fiRst!' kind of wEek??

i'm not exactly a fanatic of horoscope and stuff..
apalagi sejak gw pernah ngalamin sendiri the so called 'worst-prophecy-thru-tarot-ever' really did came true in my case 4 years back.. xC

tapi,,
harus gw akui di box shio di fb gw,, ramalan2 gila itu suka bner..
*btw, note that gw meng-keep box ini untuk kesenangan belakaa,, lagian there's rarely anything personal in it...
mostly its about financial, or activities kinda thing..*

naah,,
dini hari inii,, gw menemukaan tulisan "a me first! kind of day.."
hooo,, andai dia tau..
klo gw udah menggila dgn diri gw sendiri sepanjaaaaang minggu iniii sebenarnyaaa...
hahaaa.... xD

bukan cuma di kerjaan,,
tapi di soal finansial dan pembelanjaan...
i spent a lot on things i dont even think i need?!!!
well, di kerjaan juga sebnernya gw lg dudul bgt sii...
meskipun kerjaan gw masi ontime secara timeline..
i woke up at 9 everydaaay,,, meaning i got to the office like 10AM??
hahaa,, what a prick!

matilaaah....

ini kebiasaan burug,,
spending all my cash to waste without any agenda???
haduhhaduhhaduh..

...however,
.......i have to say,

it's reaaaaalllly good to indulge myself like never before!!!
hahaaaa.....

moga2 gw cepet tobaat... xp
amieeen.....

-and timE will alwaYs tell..-

ever questioned the choices u've made in ur life?

sometimes, it's as silly about picking a certain color or model of shirt and shoes to wear for a day,,
or choosing to go to a crazy girls-night-out with ur best buddies or to a tempting dinner-for-two with a ticklishly challenging guy..
and some other times, you're force to make bigger options,, like what major to take in studies and where u wanna go with ur career,,

either ways, life is all about choices..
u take them every single day, to actually continue ur path of in this silly world..

the real question is;
how do you know if you're making the right choices?

hohoho...

sure, for somethings you can use the logical common-sense or calculations to take the call..
but for some others, and most oftenly in my life..
i sure don't know if its the right one..
not at the moment,,

ya iya laah,,, they all would seem right at the moment..
dengan asumsi lo nggak gila,, :p
pasti lo punya dasar pemikiran waktu lo ngambil satu keputusan..
tapi seringkali yg lo pake ya asumsi at the time being ajaa..
at the time, it seems right...
well at that time,, lo belum punya informasi yg sempurnaa, yu!! xp

hahaa....

jadi seriiiiing bgt tu gw harus end up paying a significant cost buat kesalahan2 yg mnrut gw setelah dipikir2 sekarang: ga ada perlu-perlunyaaa.... xD
(ehm,, tapi karna sekarang lagi belajar melihat semua berita dari dua sisi,,
sebnernya bisa ada banget perlunya:
buat pelajaran di masa yang akan datang!!!! hahaaa.. :D)

tapi bner,
i bought like a dozen high heels yg sakitnya amit2 klo dipake..
blom kapok2 jugaa tu??
still on that impulsive buying behavior if i should see one that hits my soft-spot for shoes...
hehe...

juga soal segala barang2 yg ada di kamar gw...
my room is filled with things that often made me think:
"what in the world was i thinking when i got this??"
still... i bought 'em anyways... and still shop nevertheless now..
bwahahaa!!

ada satu lagi yg masih sering aja gw kacaukan betapapun teman2 gw bilang udah sering bgt gw lakukan...
the classic part of love life! hahaa...
yg ini lebih paraaah...
they all seem right at the time,,
(meskipun,, like any common non-prime goods...
the flaws will appear after a while... xp)
but i can't just throw the mistakes away afterwards..
berasaanyaaa itu ketiiiipuuuu bgt!!!!!
@nj**t!!! xc
udah harga diri bicara banget d klo kasus2 ini udah kejadian..
bwahaaaa.... xp

but,, in the end,,
i do believe that not looking back might be the best way to live,
sure.... u screwed, most probably got urself hurt, and hopefully u learned somethin out of the drama,,
but living in the past is not living at all,, is it?
its the future that we have to worry...

people made a mistakes evry once and a while,,
so?! just get on with it, people!

one way or another,, problems always meet their solutions..

qouting one of my favorite lines ever,,
"evrything is okay in the end,, if its not okay, then its just not the end.."
and everything., must come to an end right? xp

so whether u're making the right choice,, or the wrong one,,
or maybe have taken the wrong one and waiting for an exit to step out of it..
(or just the debts to come around eventually.. xp)
wait up and see..

time will tell what you can do.. it always does.. ;p
if u can't listen, though., u're simply in deep shit..
haha... xD